If you are having a gathering of friends and family to celebrate your anniversary whether formal or informal speeches and toasts are often expected. If following formal etiquette then a speech and toast is required, if informal then it is not required however it would be a nice gesture for someone to do.
The people expected to give a speech are the hosts and the guests of honor, if the hosts are the children then one of them would be appointed the spokesperson to deliver the speech and toast on behalf of the rest of them.
In a formal setting it would be expected that the Man would give the response speech as spokesman for the guests of honor. In an informal setting then either partner or both may give a speech.
If a toast is made then it should be short and to the point e.g. To Jack and Jill congratulations on 45 years of marriage, here's to the next 45, Jack & Jill.
There are a number of things to keep in mind when making speeches at anniversaries. One key thing that I learnt whilst trying to find jokes about wedding anniversaries for our web site (you'll notice there is no jokes on our site because we couldn't find any non-derogatory ones!). Take great care not to include a joke which will slight or insult either partner. Remember it is both of them that are celebrating their anniversary and they should be able to enjoy it. If you do want to include a joke that may be considered risky make sure it is told in a third party i.e. I knew a couple who were married......
The content of the speeches are very flexible however they should include a toast to the guests of honor and the hosts if different.
The replies a couple would make to any speeches made are very dependant upon your family circle & culture; Typically anniversary speeches follow along similar lines to a wedding celebration and thus thanking those who organized the event and for the people who turned up to join you in your celebration.
Can You Say a Few Words? : How to Prepare and Deliver Award Presentations, Dedications, Eulogies and Prayers, Introductions, Retirements and Farewells ... ding, Birthday, Anniversary Toasts, and More.
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